Facing fertility problems is stressful and time-consuming. Couples often get tired of trying to conceive a child and figuring out why it’s not working. After months or years of working to start a family, your relationship can become strained. This is a time when couple need to work together and get closer. Consider these 6 ways to strengthen your relationship while you figure out fertility issues.
Schedule an appointment with a fertility specialist. Trying to guess what is wrong is inaccurate and ineffective. Searching the Internet for solutions and listening to well-meaning friends is often misleading. Investing in costly products making lofty promises is disappointing. The only way to get to a potential solution is to meet with a fertility doctor. The doctor will review your background, take tests and give you options for the future. This is a proactive approach to dealing with fertility problems.
Make intimacy a pleasure rather than an obligation. Often intercourse must be scheduled to make the most of certain physical conditions. Despite this fact, intimacy should always be pleasurable. Looking at it like a chore takes the romance out of your relationship. Caress each other, reinforce your love and create a mood that encourages intimacy. Consider the need for intercourse as an advantage rather than a disadvantage.
Don’t blame each other for the problem. If you start blaming each other for the problem, it drives you apart. Answering the fertility doctor’s questions honestly might lead to some questions from your partner. Keep them light and accept the past for what it was. Examining it under a microscope will not change the present situation. Often both partners play a role in fertility issues so keep that in mind. This is another thought that can bring you together rather than separate you.
Never blame yourself. Never waste time wondering what you should or could have done differently in the past. Obsessing about your multiple partners or drug use will not change what happened. It only maximizes your stress which makes it more difficult to conceive a child. Do yourself a favor and let go of the past. Rejoice if you have an understanding partner who doesn’t care about what was and only considers what could be.
Take time out to enjoy life. What did you like to do together before the fertility problems arose? From bowling to boating, take time to enjoy life together. You got married because you liked to spend time doing things you both liked. Share a delicious dinner at your favorite restaurant. Go hiking in your favorite park. Attend a concert featuring your favorite band. It also helps to take your mind off trying to get pregnant, at least for a few hours.
Give yourself permission to avoid situations that make you feel uncomfortable or sad. While you cannot live in a bubble or avoid everyone, give yourself permission to occasionally avoid situations that make you feel unhappy or uncomfortable. If you simply can’t face another first birthday party, make a polite excuse then spend the day together instead.